3: Stirrings Within
This was not the beginning of my journey back into Oneness with the Creator Spirit because, in the eternal scheme of things, who can say when such a journey actually begins, if in reality it ever has a ‘beginning’, but it was certainly a way-marker of a major new phase of that journey.
As I became more familiar with the Communion procedure over the ensuing weeks and months, I was able to gradually become more aware of the spiritual ‘vibes’, or power, created by focusing upon and attuning with it. My awareness of those in spirit, whom Olga called the Inner Plane Servers (IPS) of the Sanctuary of Christ communion, grew, and as my awareness grew, so did my love for, and trust in, them. There is an indeterminate number of such servers, and names are hardly a priority, but some who were very close to me did get to be known, either by name or by some identifying quality or characteristic.
For example, I became aware that the Server with whom I was most closely and readily in tune, and whom I knew as the Rector, had in fact been the Rector of St Mary’s Church, Kerrisdale back in the 1920s and early ‘30s and had passed away in 1940. I also learned that it was he who had conveniently ‘removed’ — de-materialised — my Sunday-school teacher’s manual from there, knowing that I would have to go to the Bible Bookshop to replace it, and that Olga’s book was there in the shop, thus enabling him to bring about my meeting with her. This is one tiny example of the empowerment of the Christ-servers of the Inner Plane Sanctuary for bringing about help, progress and enlightenment of those in the Earth life who are known by the IPS to be ready to go forward on the path of spiritual awakening, even when they, themselves, have no such awareness of that readiness. If ever there was a case of synchronicity, for goodness’ sake, this was it!
Over a period of some months I experienced many dreams of a nature that indicated my soul-centres of awareness of non-physical realities were growing, or awakening from a dormant state. Also, subtle nuances of images, moving or still, and sound such as music and speaking, as well as taste and smell, like aromatic pipe smoke, perfume of flowers, the unique, personal scent or auric colour of individuals that would enable them to be identified, were impressing themselves into my extra-sensory awareness. The Rector frequently brought to my mind hymns with significant meaning for any particular moment, event or occasion, most of which I had not heard or sung since school days.
The majority of these awarenesses were so subtle that one might be tempted to question whether they even happened, but I learned that if one dismisses such as ‘not having actually happened’, which most people are prone to do, then there follows a sense of regret at having done so, and the impression fades away, whereas, if one accepts that it did happen, the awareness of the event grows, and details, meaning and understanding of the event grow with it. I liken it to photography. If a light-sensitive film is exposed to an image, the image is imprinted on the film, but if the film is not ‘fixed’ with a chemical solution, it fades away and is lost. Fixing, however, causes the image to become permanently ingrained into the film for longer-term study and consideration. Details not at first perceived in the image then become apparent with extended study.
If a person continually dismisses the awareness of faint impressions on their senses, the facility for receiving those impressions becomes, or remains, dormant; but with an attitude of willingness to accept such initially faint impressions as real, they not only become fixed, the frequency and quality of such impressions increases. It has been my experience over more than forty years that by accepting, and therefore ‘fixing’ such impressions, they remain available for study, contemplation and recollection over an indefinite period, and immeasurably more can then be discerned from them than would ever be the case from only fleeting consideration and then dismissal.
During this time, 1967, I read a book called Lychgate, by Hugh Dowding, who was head of RAF Fighter Command during World War II. In it he recounts how he was visited by enlightened souls from spirit, who said they wished him to help them with ‘rescue’ work. They explained that there were many more souls departing their earthly bodies prematurely because of the war than in times of peace, and that many of these souls were in a state of deep shock, either not realising they were ‘dead’ or not knowing what to do about it. Such a condition is sometimes referred to as being earthbound.
They explained to Hugh that such souls could not be reached by, or perceive communication from, dwellers in the Realms of Light because they were in a denser state of awareness, often similar to being in a fog — either literally or metaphorically. What was needed in order to bring the help that would be serviceable to such distressed souls was a ‘living link’, or an intermediary, incarnate soul, who had awareness of the conditions being experienced by the distressed soul and also of those from the Realms of Light who desired to help but who could not be seen by the distressed soul.
Such an intermediary would be able both to see and be seen by the newly departed souls and those from the Realms of Light who were trying to help, simultaneously. That person could explain to the distressed souls their situation: they had died and would benefit from accepting this and being willing to ‘go forward’ into the place in the spirit realms in which they really belonged, where loving help and guidance would be made available to them, from other departed souls — relatives and other loved ones — who had pre-deceased them.
Acceptance of this explanation by distressed souls would enable them to become aware of the presence of such loved ones nearby and so they would then be ready to go with them to the place in the spirit realm where they belonged. Using Jesus’ terminology, this would be going to the appropriate ‘mansion’ within the Father’s ‘house’. It should be understood that the word ‘place’ is not literally correct in the context of the etheric, or soul realms, as in the time-and-place sense, because the etheric realms are not ‘places’ but states, or degrees of spiritual awareness, or enlightenment. To be ‘with’ another person simply means being on the same mental wavelength that they are on, and that brings the parties into mutual awareness of each other’s presence.
The enlightened souls who visited Hugh told him that only incarnate souls of an enlightened potential are able to be such living links because they have the capacity for sensory awareness of the lower astral realms as well as the Realms of Light, but souls in the lower astral realms are unable to perceive higher realms, from where help for them is available. They informed Hugh that he was perfectly fitted for this work and would like to enlist his willing assistance with it. Needless to say, this came as somewhat of a surprise to Hugh, but their sincerity and trustworthiness was indubitable, and he had adequate, innate understanding of spiritual truth to recognise that what they said was so, and he therefore readily acceded to their request.
The example of this work described in Hugh’s book that I recall most readily was the case of an RAF bomber that crash landed (or had been shot down) in North Africa during the war. All the crew — about six or seven men, I believe — had been killed by the impact, but none was aware that he had ‘died’. Hugh was taken out of his body, which was asleep in bed in England, to the crash site. All the crew were there, remaining close to the wreckage of the plane, waiting for rescue to come and take them back to base. Little did they know that this would be so, but not in quite the way they were anticipating!
They suddenly became aware of Hugh’s presence and this caused them some significant surprise because they knew very well who he was. As one of the most senior personnel in the entire Royal Air Force, his face would be familiar to them all, but why would the head of Fighter Command be visiting crew in Bomber Command — two totally separate divisions of the RAF? And why would he be there in North Africa when they knew he was based in London and would need to be there for close liaison with the rest of the commanders of the Allied forces and the Prime Minister? So, as soon as they saw him they knew 'something was not quite as it appeared’.
This was a good thing because it meant they would respectfully listen to this senior officer, and they were already partly prepared for being told something unexpected. He was able to explain to them in a kindly but authoritative way what had really happened to them and it was now time for them to become aware of, or awake to, the spirit world into which they had been suddenly projected by the plane crash. One by one their ‘eyes opened’, and once past their initial astonishment, off they went with their now-visible-to-them loved ones.
All this is fairly straightforward stuff to those of us in the earthly life who accept this reality, however hard to believe it might be to those for whom this is totally new. Although I knew the broad brush of this before I read Hugh’s book, there were many details which were eye-opening for me, and some tragic cases were included in the narrative.
But the real impact of this book upon me was that it awakened a profound and soul-wrenching compassion for such ‘lost souls’, some of whom had/have been in this limbo place ‘between time and eternity’ for what would be measured in Earth/linear-time as decades, centuries and even millennia. When I considered just the known recorded history of mankind over, say, four thousand years, with the details of warfare, bloodshed, torture and man’s general inhumanity to man, and the sheer terror and agony beyond imagining of those experiencing being eviscerated, burnt at the stake, crucified — as were many tens of thousands during Roman times — and all manner of other fiendish torture ‘for the good of their souls’ by the Spanish Inquisition and all the other ‘holy’ wars (an oxymoron if ever there was one) and divisions, not to speak of political wars, genocides and mayhem, I felt as if my soul was experiencing an agony and anguish that reached out into all Eternity.
Something that was far bigger than I am and yet that was me — or at least, I was a part of it — in some metaphysical, metaphorical sense, felt as if all the awfulness, torment, fear, pain and panic experienced by every soul at the moment of terror (however short or prolonged such a moment might be), was something that I was vicariously experiencing. What I felt was not exactly the actual physical pain of their experience but the emotional and mental anguish of such souls. To me, this experience was unendurable, and every fibre of my soul reached out, as if calling out to the Universal Mind, ‘No, this cannot be allowed to continue. We must bring this awfulness to an end, and replace it with peace, relief, release, freedom, succour, love, balm to all these wretched, tortured souls, so that they might have an end to the endlessness of their distress.’
This became part of my very being; a huge, unquenchable desire of my heart and soul. I had no understanding of how I could ‘do’ anything for what assuredly must be untold millions of such souls experiencing such indescribable distress. Again, I had no awareness that my heart’s desire had been ‘heard’; the word from Isaiah 65:24, And it shall come to pass, that before they call, I will answer; and while they are yet speaking, I will hear, was not then known to me. Yet, unbeknown to my Earth-mind consciousness, the answer to the prayer of my heart’s desire was already on its way and would begin to become manifest in my life within a year.
Meanwhile, I took a leave of absence from my job in Vancouver and spent a month touring around North America, and then three and a half months in England. During that visit home I telephoned Hugh — now Lord — Dowding, who lived in retirement in my own home town of Tunbridge Wells. He was delighted to hear of my having derived such value and personal benefit and growth from his book, and invited me for tea. He and Lady Dowding made me most welcome. There was not a shred of pretentiousness, but rather, an aura of spiritual humility, love and respect for all living things emanating from them both and pervading their entire home. It was evident that here, truly, was a soul well chosen for this rescue work and of whom it could be said, His ways are ways of pleasantness and all his paths are peace (Proverbs 3:17).
The outcome of my enjoyable visit with Lord and Lady Dowding was that somehow, the reality of the existence and distress of these myriad souls, in realms unseen to Earth-life awareness, became more palpable to me, and my desire to be serviceable in bringing relief and release to them even more part of me. Still, at that time, nothing outward happened.
In early 1968 I returned to Vancouver. My inspiring, uplifting and enlightening times of visiting with Olga continued from where they had left off before my extended holiday. I had moved into my own apartment and Olga had recommended, upon guidance from within, that I set up a prayer table, which would be a place where spiritual energy could build up from times of prayer-attunement with the Lord Jesus, God, and in the broader sense, all those from the Realms of Light who are in a state of committed oneness with the Great Desire of Jesus: the Kingdom of Heaven on Earth. The most suitable place for this prayer-table was in a corner on one end of a long, low chest of drawers. Here, the exalted vibrations created by attuning in prayer with the Realms of Light would remain and accumulate rather than be dissipated by the comings and goings of day-to-day activities elsewhere in the room. There, each night I lit a votive candle, knelt in prayer and focused on my heart’s desires for the reality of the living Jesus to be part of my everyday awareness and experience.
I suddenly saw the Master Jesus come floating down through the solidness of the place above me where the wall and the ceiling met.
One night, as I knelt there, having sent out my thoughts and desires, I began speaking the Kingdom Prayer, usually known as the Our Father or Lord’s Prayer. Half way through this I suddenly saw the Master Jesus come floating down through the solidness of the place above me where the wall and the ceiling met. He was in a sitting position and he floated down until he was seated on the chest of drawers immediately to my left, no more than a hand’s breadth away. This was in itself, for me, an amazing experience, but one which I felt put me in a difficult position. Here am I, directing my thoughts, words and desires to ‘God, the Father’ — the Supreme Being, the Head Honcho, to whom, it seemed to me, should be accorded my full and undivided attention. Now, unannounced and uninvited — though always most welcome — into my flat (by a somewhat unconventional entranceway!) comes Jesus of Nazareth; ‘God the Son’, as many would describe him. The dilemma was: do I interrupt my speaking to God the Father — surely not exactly etiquette with anyone, but least of all with Him — in order to acknowledge the presence of, and make welcome, the Messiah. What to do? My mind was in a state of frozen indecision.
I hardly need have worried, for Jesus immediately saw — anticipated — my dilemma and said, in a matter of fact way, Carry on; everything’s fine. I can wait; there is no rush, and he sat there, his hands clasped in his lap, fingers interlocked, twiddling his thumbs and swinging his lower legs back and forth as they dangled over the side of the dresser. This was astonishing to me — the Anointed Messenger of the Holy One behaving just like any ‘ordinary’ person — and my focus on the rest of the Kingdom Prayer was somewhat distracted, to say the least.
Nevertheless, I ploughed on and finished, the Master being good to his word and waiting for me, totally relaxed and unruffled.
I turned to him and said, “How can it be that you are here, visiting me when there are so many others needing your help, and whom you also would wish to visit?”
The question was really a double one. Partly it was saying ‘Can I be worthy to be privileged by a visit from you, the Lord of all mankind, when there are many others more worthy and in greater need?’ and partly it was saying, ‘How on Earth do you do that?’
His reply answered both aspects. I am attuned to all mankind all the time; there is never a moment when I am not with you all. All that is needed to complete the contact is for you to attune with me and we are together, at any time. This seemed to be a principle, along the lines of two-way radio links. If party ‘A’ is at one end, listening to a transmission from party ‘B’ on a given frequency, he can hear party B without any trouble. If he wishes to respond and be heard by party B, all he needs to do is open his microphone with transmitter attuned to the same frequency, and speak, and party B will be able to receive from, as well as transmit to, party A.
This was a profound lesson for me in understanding the ways in which commun(icat)ion between souls can take place: get on the same frequency. This is, in human soul terms, sharing the same desires. The stronger the desires, and the greater the commitment of those souls to those desires, the stronger will be the connection between them. Therefore, the more truly one seeks after God and the more earnestly one desires the Kingdom of Heaven on Earth, the stronger will be the mind-to-mind, heart-to-heart contact with others of like desire and commitment. This was not exactly rocket science, and made my degree of acceptance of the presence of Jesus as a living, palpable reality much more meaningfully possible as an objective truth, rather than ‘just me being fanciful; so much wishful thinking; imagination running wild’.
This provided a very solid basis for acceptance of future experiences of contact with and from Jesus and of others in the heavenly Kingdom, operating under Christ authority and empowerment. This was a foundation for growth in mystical, Christ-authorised, spiritually-focused living and being. I had asked Jesus of Nazareth to be my spiritual Lord, guide, protector, and he had accepted my invitation/request. He never takes such a responsibility lightly or half-heartedly. Truly, he is the Good Shepherd. During the previous few years I had come to love this Nazarene with an all-consuming passion, by reading about him and hearing about him from Olga. Now, I was experiencing the dynamic livingness of the love that he IS, and my heart and mind were responding to that and growing within it.
During this period, when I was in the very early stages of my spiritual journey, back in the 1960s, I said to the Master, “Why don’t you just give me the answers to the ‘top 10’ questions (about the Creator, Creation and Eternal Truth) and then we can really get this show on the road.”
Smilingly, he replied:
It doesn’t work like that. This is a growing process and you have to be able to assimilate the realities of Eternity (back) into every level of your being. To simply have them on a plate for your mind, which has not yet been made ready to receive them, would not be serviceable to that growing process and would cause confusion because the growth has to be balanced across the full spectrum of every aspect of your being.
It was becoming very clear to me that there is, and can be, no authority like experience. You can accept the experience or the word of another as your own truth, but it is always someone else’s truth — adopted — until you have the experience yourself; then, and only then, can it become a personal, living, empowering truth, and regardless of anyone else’s teaching or doctrine to the contrary, that living — experienced — truth cannot be nullified. Or, to be more complete, it can only be replaced by one’s own further, greater, larger experience of truth. For our awareness of truth is not a static thing. It is a living, growing, organic, unfolding thing. We are always moving forward within truth, and the journey continues until we have become fully awakened into awareness of all knowledge of Eternity — just as was Jesus in the long ago. What is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth for us today, is something more than it was yesterday because we have grown, just as branches in the vine, when tended by the good husbandman, continue to grow, so that we may, by opening ourselves daily to receive the Light of Spiritual Truth, bear much fruit.
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